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Tuesday, Nov. 11, 2003 - 7:04 p.m. my mother and i bonded..my father and i bonded...my aunts who came bonded...it was just a lot of fun and i hope to do it again very soon. i think everyone knows how much of a family oriented person i am. any time i get to spend time w/ my family, i'm in my element. saturday, the night before, was just as awesome. i spent the day w/ my cousin, tony, and his lover, tavares. i always have fun w/ them. it's the whole family thing again. i can truly be myself..not that i'm fake any other time, but i don't HAVE to do anything or say anything. i can just sit and listen w/o anyone judging me or asking me what is wrong. i can't do that around my friends or acquaintances. they all ask 'what's wrong?', if i'm not talking. i gotta rest sometime, you know. i think the thing that topped my weekend off was me talking to my long time friend jason. no one will ever know how much he and will always be there for each other. so much has happened in our lives...but it always seems like the most crucial times are the times that we end up talking to each other. i hardly ever talk to him...i'm serious. we have gone years w/o talking...and w/ me being pissed off at him, but we always manage to get things together and make it right. we talked for hours, and that was shocking. my cell phone battery had to be charged when i got off the phone. it was wonderful. both of us used to be the type of people that loved to gossip...we liked to be the 'go to' person. not now. we know what it feels like on both sides and it's not pretty...it's not fun. we mostly keep to ourselves now. i'm not saying we're hermits...far from it. but we know that information we get is not always for everyone's ears. it took a while for us to get that through our heads, but we did. jason taugth me two things about friendship that i will always remember and treasure: accept people for who they are and don't try to change them; love your friends INSPITE of not BECAUSE of. keeping that in mind always is the reason i have so many friends and i love them all...every single one of them. jason is always a big topic of conversation. everyone wants to know what is going on in his life. my family, my friends, people i don't even know. and it's not b/c they're concerned. far from it. they just want something to gossip about. and they expect me to supply them w/ the information. i've gotten to the point now where i avoid the topic of conversation altogether. i promised jason something a long time ago and i'm not about to break that promise, even to this day. so all those nosey people that continuously ask me about jason, as a concerned citizen, of course, can ask him. i'm not the daily news and i don't supply info on others. i'm no one's keeper. and the ones that have no way of getting in contact w/ him, which is almost everyone, oh well, tough. i feel good after writing in this diary. i haven't done it in so long. i'm going to have to get back in the habit of doing so. i've gotten so slack lately, but it's all good. we all go though our times. i'm presently listening to tracy bonham. i only bought the cd for one song, 'mother, mother.' it used to make me cry so hard back in 1997...still does. but it makes me think of my mommy and how much i love her and how much she loves me. a little crying over love never hurt a girl. my other cd purchases: luther vandrose- greatest hits, james brown-funk christmas, enigma-greatest hits, tears for fears-greatest hits, sade- love deluxe (someone stole it) and greatest hits, angie stone-mahogany soul, mariah carey- #1's, bjork-greatetst hits. yeah, it's crazy. i only bougth james brown b/c he has that one song i love...'santa claus go straight to the ghetto.' alright! well, i better get off this computer and find something to eat. besides, tony and tavares are gonna be on their way here in about 30 minutes. until later. |
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