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i need some me time Saturday, Jun. 28, 2003 - 3:31 p.m. this week has been pretty...i don't know. i have to have some time to myself. i felt as if all my friends were trying to get a piece of me. everyone had to talk to me to get advice or have me listen to their problems. i can't take it any more. it's taken it's toll on me. now i've just gotten to the point where i just don't answer my phone anymore. it rings ALL the time, no joke. sometimes when my friends want to hang out, they intentionally ask that we not be at my place b/c the phone rings so much. i don't really blame them. i've gotten to the point where i just block it out now. if it's that important, they'll leave a mesasge and they'll be there when i get the message. no one realizes how much time i have for myself in a day. do you want to know? NONE! that's right, none. don't get me wrong, i love my friends w/ all my heart, but i don't think any of them think that, hey, maybe she needs some time to herself. i know it's b/c i have a lot of friends, and i do mean a lot. i think i just need a vacation to get away from everything. well, that's coming up soon anyway. i'll be gone for 5 days to the beach...i can't wait. i'll also be visiting other friends i haven't seen since they moved...but it will be good for me. i took this week to not talk to anyone...well, i won't say that. i did talk to some people, but none of it was planned. if i just happened to see someone while i was out, i would talk to them, but as for calling them up, no. i kinda liked it. it was like freedom in a way. honestly, i got so stressed out last weekend that i woke up monday w/ a busted blood vessel in my eye. the least little thing set me off. i couldn't take it anymore. my mom told me to just get rid of everyone and just have some me time. you know what? momma was right. so that's what i did and i have felt so much better. i'm actually feeling relaxed b/c i don't have any obligations and that's a rarity for me. i've always had obligations and and everyone always expecting stuff frome me. this week, i didn't care. i'm not really one to focus on myself that much...but this week, i needed to. i guess you have to be a bit selfish every once in a while. but you know what? even though i say i was selfish, i wasn't. even as i type now, my cell phone is ringing in the other room. am i getting up to answer it? absolutly not! i would like to have a day to myself w/o having to worry about doing something w/ someone or talking to someone. it's a me day again. will i go out tonight? i have no idea b/c i'm not making any decisions now. it's gonna be a fly by the seat of my pantyhose day. i just had to let that out. i really needed to b/c every time my phone rings, i get a headache. this is the reason i never had a freaking cell phone in the first place. now everyone thinks they can get in contact w/ me. i just need peace! i think i'm going to make me some food, read my v.c. andrews book and watch all the shows i have recorded but never get a chance to watch.

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