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Saturday, Jun. 07, 2003 - 10:28 p.m. well, i guess i'll start w/ danny. i have finally decided that he is no longer going to be in my life. yes, i made the decision and i am sticking to it. why, you ask, this time? well, b/c he has issues. i'm serious. everytime i talk to him, there is always an excuse why he didn't do this or that. whatever. i am not down w/ excuses. i say, if i don't take excuses from my friends and family, i'm definitely not going to take them from some middle-aged vagabond w/ no life. i mean, really. that and he broke one of my elephants when he came over last time. i was so in shock, i couldn't even speak. he tried to hide it, too! that pissed me off. i mean, really. my friend steven stuck his balls in my crystal beads and he is not allowed back in my apartment ever. so you know if someone breaks one of my precious elephants, they are seriously out, no questions asked. it's so sad to see him at the bar. he just comes in and goes back to the game room where i am ALWAYS am. i find it strange...i have been going to this bar for god only knows how long. now, i never saw him until i hooked up w/ him the end of last year...no, forget that. i never started seeing him until april. ever since then, i see him at the bar ALL the time. coincidence? hell no! he pops up at my apartment too casually. but i don't even think i have to worry about that anymore. i've been totally igoring him at the bar. i mean, not totally. i'll say hi, but that's about it. he gets no love from me anymore....he broke my elephant. i guess there's also one more reason why i have no more use for him. and this isn't as though i was using him either. okay, so i knew i had a hold on the guy, but still, i think he was kinda using me too...somehow, someway, he was. he was too damn clingy...always calling, always coming over....and so freaking annoying. i mean, do you know how bothersome it is having someone stare at you all the time saying 'you're so beautiful. i can't believe you're so pretty. you're gorgeous.' when i first met him, it was all good, but damn, now it's just old and annoying. if it were someone else saying that, fine, but don't tell me how beautiful i am all night long every time i see you. no! danny is also i big time pot head w/ no life. not that it goes hand in hand w/ each other. and no, i'm not throwing stones b/c i'm in my glass house over here. my thing is, and always has been, don't have a habit you can't support. simple as that. you can't afford cigarettes, give them up. you can't get a quarter bag of weed, don't smoke it. you don't have a job or a place to live permanently, get a life. point blank. that's pretty much all it boils down to, peeps. and there is one more reason why i have no use for danny. he's so horrible in bed. i mean, if he were at least superb in that, i could, maybe, let him hang by a string, but my goodness. i can do better by myself than i can w/ him. obviously, his service is no longer required at peaches' residence. he also tries to get all possessive at the bar. i'm saying this, i am committed to no one and i like it that way. there is only one man that has the right to tell me what to do or anything like that and i call him daddy. any other male has no claim to me. if i am talking to some guy, don't try to pull up close to me and get all touchy! i am not your woman and i won't ever be. i know that probably seems wrong, but it's not. i made it plain and simple, as i do to any guy i'm w/, that i am no one's property and just b/c i'm talking to you now doesn't mean i'm going to be you're girl or stuck to you. i always let whomever know before hand, this is not a permanent thing, so if you can't handle it, let's go no further. danny's almost 40...i thought he of call people would be able to deal w/ it, but i guess i was wrong. all these things added together let's us know why i want nothing to do w/ him anymore. i have no use for him and he cramps my style. clinginess and possessiveness are automatic grounds for dismissal. that's just how i play. wow, i have written so much on this one topic, i need to do another entry for my other stories. go me! can i make up for lost time or what! |
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