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Tuesday, Dec. 17, 2002 - 10:03 p.m. my bosses were kinda fighting over me today. you'd think i'd feel good about it. in actuality, it kinda freaks me out. see, i found out today that my asst. v.p., when she promoted me, went over the sr. v.p.'s head. he didn't disagree w/ it, mind you, but now i am the one everyone else is getting graded against. everyone is supposed to reach me. that puts a lot of pressure on a person. it's like being the teacher's pet w/o trying to. i know all about that too. anyway, my manager asked me to do this project and it was priority. i asked my superivor about a quick way of doing it. he got pissed b/c my manager didn't go through him to give me the project. she explains that our asst. v.p. wanted me and only me to do it. she said he could do the work, if he wanted to, but the end product must come from me to the asst.v.p. that's when i found out about our asst.v.p. going over our sr. v.p.'s head. my manager tells me everything. so now i have to work extra hard to attain what i have and even harder if i want to stay the best. let me just say that ain't easy when you're pms-ing and coming down w/ a cold. but somehow, someway, i'm managing to do it. let's hope i keep my sanity. tomorrow is another one of my crazy anniversaries. yeah, it's the 10th anniversary of when i lost my virginity. who could remember that, right? i could. i will never forget it. it was the first time i ever drank the blue bull, too, you know, schultz malt liquor. i wouldn't touch that now if someone paid me to. i'll never forget it. i had turned 16 a few months earlier and it was the last day of school for before christmas break. yep, december 18, 1992. me and my cousin shannon were going to our friend, carrie's, 16 birthday party. little did we know it was only us three. her boyfriend and his cousin came to pick us up. later, i found out her boyfriend was this 23 year old man who was (get ready) my sister's best friend's brother. yep, you heard right. i remember we were watching that show dinosaurs (not the mama!). shannon had to meet her mom back at carrie's house at 10:30p.m. i was drunk, but had to ride w/ delvin, carrie's boyfriend's cousin. i didn't know how old he was. i do know he hit a mailbox driving, though. on the way back, he gave me my very first pick up line. yep, he asked if i was a virgin and i was. his line...'well, it's christmas time and this could be my present to you and your present to me.' you know what? i fell for it. sure did. i didn't know what i was getting myself into. i was supposed to spend the night w/ carrie, too. we spent the night there at their house. me, carrie and her boyfriend all slept in the same bed. guess what? somebody woke me up in the middle of the night, stroking me and it wasn't delvin. it was carrie's boyfriend. i didn't know what to do, so i screwed him too. that was one of the worst nights of my life. i remember losing a shoe b/c i flipped over the back of the truck at some point. the next morning, carrie and i had to sneak out of their house and climb in her window at her house so her parents wouldn't know what time we got in. and to top it all off, guess how old delvin really was? 14! yep, i guess i was the one that got surprised on that one. and i never lived it down b/c it's still talked about to this day when i go back to orange county. i've drained myself with that damn story. remembering the past is cool sometimes, but sometimes, it just ain't. i've tired myself out. i need to sleep. i'll have to see if i have enough strength to make it to the bar...TOMORROW NIGHT. see, you thought i was going tonight. as if! i'm trying to get better, not the other way around. well, i really do have to hit the sack. i think i'll listen to some 311 to calm me down. until later. |
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