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2001-08-12 - 6:19 p.m. the weekend is almost over. i am glad. i am very tired. i had friends to come spend the weekend with me and we had fun. we had a girl's night out. but one of my gay guy friends was over so it really was a girl's night out, or as he would say, 'a gurl's night out'. i love him. the baby was up this weekend. he got cuter, if that's even possible. i love it, every time he looks at me, he just smiles. he is so cuddley. i just love that kid to death. my friend maher came up to see me yesterday. he came with one of his friends. he is so cool. him with the baby was a funny sight to see, i tell you. maher is a clown with kids. we left him with the baby, we just went outside, and as soon as the door closed, we heard the baby cry. it was so funny. it reminded me so much of 3 men and a baby. my migrane is finally gone. it went away sometime late last night. i was so glad. by that time, i thought everyone was asleep, but when i came in my room, my friend started talking to me. we were like little 12 year olds at a sleep over. we giggled and snickered until we passed out. we went out one time, late, to smoke a cigarette. i felt like i was sneaking to do it. i guess that's what made it so fun. we came back in and giggled some more. she and i always have the best times together. i can always read her whether it be on computer, phone, paper or in person. that's one of the reasons we are still such close friends. she rocks...and she cooks pretty good pancakes, too. well, that was pretty much my weekend. i didn't get to clean up like i wanted to and i didn't do my nails or take a bubble bath or anything, but i think i will be okay. now that things will be getting back to normal, i don't need the 'relaxing time' i thought i did. my mama always says be careful what you ask for, you just might get it. honey, ain't that the truth. i don't think i will be complaining about my life much for a while. well, work is different. oh, i must say, before i leave, that i found out wonderful news concerning my band 311. their next single will be coming out on september 11, 5 days after my birthday. the song that is being released.......'i'll be here awhile.' you just do not know how happy that makes me. i read it today on my e-mailed and almost fainted. i started screaming, 'yes, yes' and i heard one of my friends say 'is she barking like a dog?' the other friend replied, 'no, i think she is screaming yes, or at least i hope she is.' i just couldn't contain myself. 'amber' was my favorite song off their cd, from chaos, but after a while, i fell in love with 'i'll be here awhile.' every time i would hear nick hexum sing it, i would cry. now i will be able to hear it more often. oh, god, that means there will be a video to that. i am about to scream now, but i will try to calm down. that song just means so much to me. if you knew my dedication to 311, you would understand. i think about them everyday, that is really all i listen to. i sleep under a poster of them, i love that band, their music......they are one of the few people that can leave me speechless. i hyperventilated when i met them. they are so positive. you know, i will tell you they are so inspirational to me. seriously. you think they couldn't be? you see, i wasn't the most stable adolescent. you couldn't tell from the outside, but my psychologist had a different view. when i moved to g'boro, i thought i was an adult, but i wasn't quite there. there were some times where i just went off my rocker. you know when you are emotionally and mentally unstable, the least little thing can make you just want to end it? well, that was me. one of the things that kept my sanity was God, the other was my music, more importantly, 311. they got me through so many hard times; times i thought i would never be able to think about or go through again. they are so positive and....i just do not have the words to describe it, but listening to their music and some of the things that they have to say, it just calmed me down and made me think about more than myself. it made me see that i am important to somebody...and if nothing else, i am important to myself. they made me see that people needed me and that i am loved and that i am something special. now that is what i call a fabulous band! |
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