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depressing me Thursday, Oct. 10, 2002 - 12:36 p.m. sometimes i really dread being me. not all the time, just sometimes...like now when things just aren't working with me. it only takes one little thing to go wrong to knock everything else off kilter. i know we need to have the bad experiences in our life to help us appreciate the good things we have, but damn, why do the bad things have to happen all at one time? i guess it's cracked up to me having a shitty day....and this time it has absolutely nothing to do with work or anyone. let's just say the flood gates were opened last night and now i can't close them. i've been crying ever since last night. i didn't get to sleep until 3:00a.m. this morning. the smallest thing just makes me cry. i was watching videos this morning and saw 'semi-charmed life' and started bawling. 'borderline' had me in tears...the big tear jerker was 'set a drift' by p.m. dawn. i had to leave home on that one...well, actually i saw hootie and the blowfish were coming on and that's why i left, but that's beside the point. what's wrong w/ me? who knows. am i pms-ing? probably. don't get me wrong. this ain't a pity party i am having here. i'm not doing the 'my life is so horrible...what on earth should i do (said w/ a southern bell accent)' thing. i'm just putting my emotions into words in this diary. i think it helps me to see what's going on and to better cope with it. it's crazy, b/c as i'm writing this down, i am starting to feel a lot better. i swear to god, these damn mood swings are killing me. if this is me now, i hate to see menopause....i'll turn into....MY MOTHER!!!! ricky and i are going to see this group called 'bjorn again.' they do abba songs. i know i'm not doing them justice, but it should be pretty cool. it's the day before halloween and the next day is the month end for me, but i'm game for it. well, i suppose i should get back to work now. i will actually have more time to update after this week, so that should make somebody happy. until later...

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happy kwanzaa
good holiday cheer filled w/ love for family
i finally got the car!
let's get in the christmast spirit!
goodbye to the old and on w/ the new...my precious microwave