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Monday, Feb. 25, 2002 - 12:24 p.m. i talked to kamilah for over an hour about this. jezzei asks how did i get her to actually listen to me for that long without talking. it was very easy. i was in one of my moods and i was still on the 'aunti' trip b/c my nephew had just been dropped off, so i was still very authoritative. anyway, i told kamilah she is a woman, a strong black woman and at no time should she let a man make her life miserable. but she can't blame him for everything b/c she keeps going back and letting him do what he does. i told her she had to take control of her own life and stop letting others do it for her. it's a never ending circle with her. her argument was she wanted to e-mail him or call him b/c she wanted to say her piece. i let her know that it will never end. he will always get back in her life if she kept on doing that. he will never let her have the last word and she won't want him to either. she said he feels like he is the victim and it's not fair. my response...WHO CARES! i gave her some advice and this can apply to anything in her life b/c this is how i live my life, or try to. if there is something/someone in your life that makes you feel depressed, angry, upset, pissed off all the time, get rid it it/them. there is enough negative energy in this world without having to deal with more. life is too short to be dealing with foolish people and there are so many more emotions out there that are better to deal with, like happiness, proudness, joy, excitement...the good ones. i hate it when kamilah is always complaining about the same thing, but most of all, it makes me mad that she is allowing him to upset her. kamilah is a wondeful person, beautiful, smart funny and a super good friend. it pains me to see my friends upset, but at the same time if you aren't trying to help yourself, then you can only expect so much. a friend once told me 'i can't be dealing with nobody that ain't about nothing.' amen to that, sister. you have got to love yourself and first and foremost b/f you can make it in this world. that's the god's honest truth. so i think i have convinced kamilah not to communicate with darnell. i hope so. she told me that was easier said than done. one thing all my friends know is that i would never ask anyone to do anything that i wouldn't be willing to do myself. in this case, i have already been through this. i know i how hard it is to have someone that is controlling your life and have them have all these expectations that you are supposed to live up to and you feel like they don't care about you half the time. i know how hard it is to stop the circle. i know crappy it is to know that you are being taken for granted, but you're too scared to say anything for fear that will be the end. you knwo what though? sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it. yeah, it might hurt a little now, but when you look back on it, you will see how much better off you are. i can say that now about two guys in particular. yes, i am still coping with it, but i feel better about myself b/c i am my own person and no one call tell me what i AM GOING to do...except for my parents b/c they brought me into this world. kamilah has actually gone this with someone else in the past, but she broke the cycle, so i know she can do it again. i know she can, and when she does, she, like myself, will be able to stand up proudly and say, 'i might not be where i want to be, but thank God, i am not where i used to be.' |
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