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life sucks

2001-11-29 - 8:19 a.m.

i feel like crap. i am so sick now, but i am at work, all the same. gotta make the money, right. i am just getting here because every time i tried to leave my apartment, another wave of nauseousness would come over me. i do not like this at all. i think i have some type of stomach bug. i thought it was dead and gone, but i see i was wrong, wrong, wrong. so what am i having for breakfast? gatorade. why? because i cannot keep anything in me. it goes out one way or another. water included. gatorade is the only thing that will stay down. but at leat i went to the grocery store last night and found the cool blue raspberry, the only good tasting gatorade out there. fierce grape has nothing on this one, baby.

so last night ricky and i went down to nyp to talk about some things and to eat...but mostly so i could flirt with cute bartender boy mike....who was not working i later found out. well, i was sitting there talking to ricky when all of a sudden, guess who comes out from the front? mike! i acted as thougth i didn't see him and that i was in deep conversation with ricky....i wasn't, but i know how to play that crap off. well, he was about to play the pinball machine, which i NEVER see him doing, which just happened to be in my line of vision. he just stood there and stared at me...then he stuck his middle finger up at me when he saw me look up and started laughing. well, if you know me, you know i am a very loud person and things just come out however. so i yelled at him, 'why did you give me the finger?' and i am talking super loud, too. he laughs at me, smiles and says 'because i love you!' i just rolled my eyes, gave the finger back to him and went back talking to ricky. that was such a cute little episode. so ricky and i eat and talk....that's a whole other story.

while we are eating, this super drunk guy comes up and starts talking to us. he wouldn't leave us alone. i was like, oh my goodness, but i just smiled at him and acted really fake, but he never knew. okay, tell me why he started drooling when he came over, i mean literally, it dripped down to his shirt. i know that's super nasty, but you didn't have to see it. so then, he pulls up a chair and starts talking to us. his speech was so slurred you couldn't understand him. james, the bartender, asked if he was bothering us, but right in front of him. so james walked away. i was like, hello, can we eat in peace, but no, we couldn't. i needed parmesean cheese and green stuff on my pizza so i went looking for it and so did the drunk. he made sure i had my cheese. what i nice jesture. this guy doesn't leave us alone. i can't eat and ricky won't talk to me as long as this guy is here, so i look for help...i see it in the form of cute boy mike. i saw mike talking to this guy earlier in the night. okay, yeah, i mentioned that mike wasn't working, but he is always there and i could never understand why. i still don't. so i look up at the bar where mike is sitting. i stared him down until he looked my way. he smiled and i gave him a super ultra big smile and he waved me to come up and sit beside him. i kept the big smile on and he kept waving me up there until i nodded to the drunk guy, whose name i gather is stephen. the guy didn't want to come and started getting really loud. mike came to drag him away from the table and then the guy got militant! mike had to take him by the arm and pull him. talking wasn't doing any good now. mike was ready to beat the shit out of him and he told him that. i just looked at all this going on in shock. i have been going to nyp for at least 4 years and nothing like this has ever happened. mike even ended up pushing the guy. he got the guy out and i was like, thank you so much. then the drunk came back to 'get his cigarettes.' why he thought he left them at my table, i don't know, but he came right back over and mike grabbed him by his shirt and literlly threw him out. i was like, wow! i was so surprised by what happened that i lost my appetite. craziness. i never got a chance to go up and talk to mike again because i was either in a conversation with ricky or he was in conversation with one of the regulars. but never fear, i will be back soon. i would say tonight, but i have entirely too much to do tonight...too many people and issues to deal with.

after we left there, we went to the grocery store. we never go to the grocery store that late at night. it was so much fun, like in the old days. we made fun of everything. i am glad i at least had that night because i don't know if i am going to have a fun night for the rest of the week. with me getting sick every other day, having 'serious' conversations and meeting with jason.

now i just got some more info that does not make my day go good at all. all i will say is that this diary is not always the best place to put any private thoughts. because of this i probably have now lost a very good friend. i think i hate my life!


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