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it's me against the world....and i am losing
Tuesday, Apr. 23, 2002 - 11:15 a.m.
ever felt like the world is just out to get you? and no matter how hard you try to stay in good spirits or not let things get you down you feel the life draining from you? that's me now. i feel like i am doing all that i can do to survive, but things just won't click. it's like the more i try to keep the positivity going, i keep getting knocked down. i do not understand why. i can only take so much and i think i am close to my limit. i feel like i am about to break down and cry any minute. but then i think, no, i can't. i have had so many people with problems that want advice this weekend and i have continually been giving advice or just been the shoulder to lean on. it starts from the time i get to work til the time i close my door to go to bed. there is always someone who needs me more than i need myself. is it wrong to just be tired of giving? to just feel like you are so empty that you cannot give anymore? and so most of my problems now involve money. yeah. my mom made sure we had this phrase in our brain at all times: 'do what you can do and don't worry about the rest. it's gets you nothing but a headache.' i remember going home one weekend after i had moved away from home crying b/c i didn't have enough money for rent. my mom yelled at me for worrying about 'stupid shit' like that. (any time i have major problems, they help me out) i have always remembered that. now, i try not to have money problems, but they occur, i just don't let it get me down. now, though, it seems that they are getting the best of me. it's hard to stay focused....but i will try. |
