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i pray.... Monday, Dec. 31, 2001 - 12:20 p.m. today is kuumba, the 6th day of kwanzaa. it means creativity. unfortunately, i have not been able to celebrate kwanzaa as i normally do. i have not lit my candles or really thought about the principles themselves of the nguzo saba. i have been sick. i thought i was better yesterday, but it was wrong. i am still here at work today, i have not choice in that matter. it's like that when you are the only person doing your job and have no back up. lots of people depend on you. i talked to my mother earlier this morning. she is upset about my sister. why? this should be a happy occasion considering tomorrow is imani, new year's day and my sister's birthday, but no, my mom is upset. my sister has decided to just leave and go to d.c. to see glenn. did she tell my mother? no. did she explain anything to her son? no. she just uped and left. she asked my mom to keep paylor and my mom said yes, not knowing anything was going on until she met ty int he grocery store with paylor. my mom asked where my sister was and my sweet little nephew told it all. my mom was and is furious. my sister left a message on her answering maching saying she wasn't talking to her until she came back to north carolina. i do not understand my sister. there can't be that much love in the world. why would a person ever want to be with someone that hit them? that let their child see them getting hit? that their child is AFRAID of? this is beyond me. i do not understand any of this. my mom is doing all she can not to let my dad know b/c he will lose it. granted, my sister and my father have never seen eye to eye or even anywhere close, but no one ever harms her or makes her upset b/c they know my dad will always be there no matter what. so why in the world would she go off to be with glenn? does she not think of the most important person here? no, not herself, her son. i am just scared something bad is going to come of this. i hate to think of the worse, but that is all i can think of. it really saddens me to think that my sister is so dependent on some man that she has to chase after him. that is pathetic and i feel sorry for her. i do not like glenn, i never have and i have always made that plain and clear. now no one will even tolerate him. why one person has so much anger built up in them is beyond me. why anyone would want to be with someone with that much anger is beyond me as well. i just pray my sister makes it to her 32 birthday, which is tomorrow, and well beyond that. i pray this will not tear my family apart. i pray my mother will not worry as much as she has been worrying....that she will be able to sleep peacefully at night. i pray that soon, paylor will be able to come home and not be afraid. most of all, i pray that 2002 will better than 2001. there ain't much in 2001 that i care to remember at all.

need more? ♠
happy kwanzaa
good holiday cheer filled w/ love for family
i finally got the car!
let's get in the christmast spirit!
goodbye to the old and on w/ the new...my precious microwave